By Pam Alberts
Caregiving can be a wonderful and rewarding experience. It can also be extremely demanding both mentally and physically. The person you’re caring for might well be your first priority, but all humans have limits. Helping yourself stand up to the demands you face is critical. You need to feel a sense of balance to maintain your well-being. So what can you do?
Let’s start by looking at some simple things you can incorporate into your life that can go a long way toward your well-being. Remember, the goal is to relieve stress, not add to it. So use what works for you and the moment.
Take advantage of quick, simple pleasures – Step outside, soak in the sunshine, and breathe in the crisp, fresh air. Have a cup of calming herbal tea, inhaling the wonderful aroma. Put bouquets of flowers you love in all the main rooms. Listen to soothing, uplifting music. The list is endless.
Stay connected with others – Caregivers can get so absorbed in what they are doing that they can tend to isolate, often without knowing it. Feeling connected can be one of the most important things you can do to not feel alone. Spending time with others can be a strong stress reliever and great for your well-being.
“Buddy” with another caregiver – This is something many caregivers don’t think about but can have a great impact. Who better than someone walking in your shoes to be able to understand what you’re going through?
Care for your nutritional needs – The body needs good nutrition to function well. Planning a week’s worth of balanced meals can make it much easier to eat well. There are many ways to eat well and not spend your day in the kitchen. You just need to experiment to see what works best for you.
Exercise – This is a natural stress reliever and a healthy way to live. Many caregivers give up exercise due to time. You might not have time to go to a health club, but don’t let that stop you. You could watch a fitness DVD, do stretching exercises, tai chi, yoga, etc. Doing three ten-minute increments might work better for you than 30-minutes at one time.
Get enough rest – Your body needs adequate rest. Sleep isn’t a luxury. You simply can’t function without it. Make sure you get the rest you need.
Meditate – This is a great way to focus on your breathing, helping you to relax, as well as turning inward from the outside world. Regular meditation can have a cumulative effect on your outlook and peacefulness.
Read uplifting material – Inspiring poems, quotes, articles, and books can make you feel good and keep you positive.
Humor – You know the saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Humor is a great stress reliever. Get as much as you can.
Journal your feelings – Caregiving can be enormously demanding, involving a lot of mixed emotions. Expressing your feelings is wonderful for getting things “out of your system.” Journaling is a great way to release stress and get you in touch with your deepest feelings.
Focus on gratitude – Listing what you enjoy about being a caregiver, as well as what you are grateful for in your life, can be a very gratifying, uplifting, and meaningful tool. It’s nice to read to keep your spirits high during difficult days.
Support groups – There is no need to go it alone. A caregiver support group can provide you with lots of support, an avenue to express your feelings with those who understand, and a chance to hear the experiences of others.
Use respite care – We all need to take time for ourselves and rejuvenate. Make a list of people who might enable you to take a break outside the home. Think of your family, friends, neighbors, community members, and others. People are often more than happy to help if asked. Professionals are always available as well and can be a great resource.
By thinking creatively and listing ways you can incorporate more balance into your life will make it more likely to happen. Many people feel selfish or guilty by making themselves a priority while being a caregiver. Don’t fall into that trap. You’re human and have your needs also. Do you really want someone physically exhausted and mentally drained caring for your loved one?
Pam Alberts, MSW, LICSW, CEP, MBA is Assistant Director at the Lincoln Council On Aging.
